What is Your Advice?
I’m not a big advice giver, but when someone asks me, “What’s your advice,” I feel like I should say something.
I give the advice, and is it heeded? Most of the time – no.
I’m not an infallible guru, far from it. When I was 30 years old I was warned not to get involved with a certain individual. Did I listen? Of course not. I knew it all, it was my life and only I can see the reality of it. Everyone else is stupid. So what did I do? I did the opposite, I married him. It ended in disaster of course.
I am on the other side of the bad advice. I did it, realized that I should have taken the advice, and am now able to see it when other people are about to make it. What is that they say about hindsight?
I know that unless someone wants to do something, no amount of advice is going to change their mind.
It is Your Choice
I don’t take all the advice that is handed to me. But I do consider good advice and make my decision after a lot of thought…unless my gut intervenes, then I go with that. But that’s another post.
Sometimes advice given is not for your best interest. One needs to be able to discern that.
I am not particularly fond of giving romantic advice. My love life is all but dead and has been for years. So although I’ve had marriages and relationships, they’ve not been successful. I tend to give advice based on the person asking and what I know of them. I don’t dump a blanket statement about the situation.
Taking Advice Means Change
People are afraid of change. If you give advice that will change their world drastically, they may not be strong enough to take it. It takes a strong person to change their world.
My daughter has Gastroesophegeal Refulx Disease (GERD), she wanted to know is there a way to get rid of it. I told her she can’t get rid of it, but a lifestyle change can relieve the symptoms.
I told her she can’t eat the spicy foods anymore. That didn’t go over too well. She began to point out all the reasons why she should eat spicy foods and how she isn’t going to stop.
Although she is my daughter, she is 17. I do not have control over what she eats outside the home. I gave her my advice, so now; she’ll have to learn the hard way. It is particularly hard when it is your own child. But sometimes, we cannot protect them from themselves. However, most of the time, she does take my advice…reluctantly.
A friend asked me for love life advice. I thought my advice was sound, her response was, “What you’re saying makes so much sense, but I’m not going to listen to it.” She told me straight out. What do you do with a person like that? You let them live their life.
I’m not a control freak. I will watch you fall down the stairs in slow motion. I cannot help someone that is not willing to help themselves.
It can be frustrating, or you can remove yourself from the outcome and just witness, and hope that your friend or loved one doesn’t get too banged up.
I usually don’t send people to other articles on the internet, but I found this one to be very interesting and truthful: Why People Don’t Listen To Advice