If You Want My Advice…

What is Your Advice?

I’m not a big advice giver, but when someone asks me, “What’s your advice,” I feel like I should say something.

I give the advice, and is it heeded? Most of the time – no.

I’m not an infallible guru, far from it. When I was 30 years old I was warned not to get involved with a certain individual. Did I listen? Of course not. I knew it all, it was my life and only I can see the reality of it. Everyone else is stupid. So what did I do? I did the opposite, I married him. It ended in disaster of course.

I am on the other side of the bad advice. I did it, realized that I should have taken the advice, and am now able to see it when other people are about to make it. What is that they say about hindsight?

I know that unless someone wants to do something, no amount of advice is going to change their mind.

Agatha

It is Your Choice

I don’t take all the advice that is handed to me. But I do consider good advice and make my decision after a lot of thought…unless my gut intervenes, then I go with that. But that’s another post.

Sometimes advice given is not for your best interest. One needs to be able to discern that.

I am not particularly fond of giving romantic advice. My love life is all but dead and has been for years. So although I’ve had marriages and relationships, they’ve not been successful. I tend to give advice based on the person asking and what I know of them. I don’t dump a blanket statement about the situation.

 

Taking Advice Means Change

People are afraid of change. If you give advice that will change their world drastically, they may not be strong enough to take it. It takes a strong person to change their world.

My daughter has Gastroesophegeal Refulx Disease (GERD), she wanted to know is there a way to get rid of it. I told her she can’t get rid of it, but a lifestyle change can relieve the symptoms.

I told her she can’t eat the spicy foods anymore. That didn’t go over too well. She began to point out all the reasons why she should eat spicy foods and how she isn’t going to stop.

adviceAlthough she is my daughter, she is 17. I do not have control over what she eats outside the home. I gave her my advice, so now; she’ll have to learn the hard way. It is particularly hard when it is your own child. But sometimes, we cannot protect them from themselves. However, most of the time, she does take my advice…reluctantly.

A friend asked me for love life advice. I thought my advice was sound, her response was, “What you’re saying makes so much sense, but I’m not going to listen to it.” She told me straight out. What do you do with a person like that? You let them live their life.

I’m not a control freak. I will watch you fall down the stairs in slow motion. I cannot help someone that is not willing to help themselves.

It can be frustrating, or you can remove yourself from the outcome and just witness, and hope that your friend or loved one doesn’t get too banged up.

 

Article

I usually don’t send people to other articles on the internet, but I found this one to be very interesting and truthful:  Why People Don’t Listen To Advice

 

 

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All the Negativity We Cannot See

This is irony. When I originally wrote this post, it was four pages of angry and negative stuff. So I  it. What is left is only positive or neutral or fact based thoughts (I hope).

And as I was revising, I realized that although I try to keep a positive mindset, it is negative by default. I have my theories as to why.

I’m not a student of the social science or psychology. Perhaps it is between nature and nurture. However, I worked at this post and tried to bring the negativity barometer down.

 

Negativity in Social Media

Have you ever scrolled through your Facebook page and noticed an overwhelming amount of negativity?

Bad news floods my news feed. .

 

Prior to 9/11

I think back before 9/11 to recall if the news ever concentrated its efforts on one story. The only one I can remember is “The White Bronco”. Although I felt that was more like an car chase in a movie.

I’m sure in the past there have been some awful crimes that received a lot of airtime, but I hadn’t noticed.

It wasn’t until 9/11 that I realized the saturation of bad news over the airwaves.

This was particularly troublesome for me because every broadcast station replayed the events on a loop for 2 days (if not more). On 9/12/2001 my office was closed (all of Manhattan was closed) and the only thing broadcasting on broadcast TV was news about 9/11.

I lived through that, I didn’t want to keep watching it (or hearing about it). It was brining my energy way, way down. This is one time HBO was a Godsend.

Since then, every bombing, shooting and the like has at least received several hours worth of news coverage.

I have the control. I can turn off my TV and during that time, I did.

I say this to point out where I think the excess and continuous stream of negativity stems from.

Not from the awful events themselves, but from the constant bombardment of them on our peace of mind.

Neg1-1

Negative Nellie’s and Debbie Downer’s

These people. Man, do I not appreciate these people.

Someone posts something happy, such as, “I’m getting married!” Most people will write some sort of congratulatory message. But not Debbie or Nellie. No. Debbie will write, “Don’t get divorced.” And Nellie will write, “I hope he doesn’t leave you at the altar.”

Why?

Say congratulations and keep it moving.

It doesn’t have to be something so momentous either. Someone can write, “I found $5 on my way home.” And Debbie will come in with, “That $5 could have belonged to someone who needed it more than you, someone with starving children…” You get the idea.

It doesn’t matter what you write, they will write something contrary. Why? Just because.

But if you post something such as “I got divorced,” they will ‘Like’ that post.

I’m not here to psychoanalyze these individuals. I do know that these are some profoundly unhappy people.

 

The “I’m going to get my point across by filling up your news feed with angry meme’s because my way is the only way and you should listen to me,” poster.

We get it, whatever you are passionate/militant about. We get it. Do I want to see it 15 times on my news feed in different meme’s?

I don’t mind the occasional passionate plea for justice, or a thought provoking post on something that needs to be said. Heck, I post those.

I am talking about me scrolling through my news feed and every other post is from one person talking about the same injustice over and over and over.

That is what blogging is for!

I appreciate the fact that Facebook has an Unfollow feature. I can Unfollow someone without unfriending them. Because, these aren’t bad people, they are just a wee bit annoying.

 

My Life is so awful

No it’s not.

OK for some, it probably is. Those who have a serious illness (or family with serious illness), the loss of a loved one, abusive relationships, serious financial stress….you know, real problems.

We need to practice gratitude more than we do. Don’t post to complain that you missed your bus, another will come. I mean that figuratively and literally.

And yes, I myself am guilty of the occasional rant about something trivial. We all need to blow off steam about stupidity. I am talking about the constant posting of such things.

 

My Personal Mission

I strive to keep my Facebook posts positive and uplifting. I go out of my way to post these. I could not post anything, but doing nothing doesn’t counteract the effect of negativity. Only light can stomp out the darkness.

Some of my Facebook friends are doing the same thing.

My posts are generally non-denominational. However, I don’t mind posts about praising God, Allah or Jehovah,CARD1-1 or anything positive like that.

Cute animal posts? Yes.

Cute kids doing cute things? Yes.

Hunky men posts? Yes.

Sarcastic Snarky someecards posts? Yes. Yes.

Meme’s that make me think and cry because they are profound? Yes.

 

There is Freedom of Speech After All

Listen, I’m not the Social Media police. And we live in a country where anyone can post anything (within reason) on their Facebook page.

There is something to the saying, “Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life.”

If I don’t like what someone posts, I generally keep it moving. I don’t get offended, I don’t get angry. Life is too short for negativity.

I urge people to post at least one fun or uplifting or fun thing on their Facebook page a week and then increase it. If more people did this, there would be a lot less negative stuff floating around.

 

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Busy Thoughts #2

Athiest

Is it just an expression?  Thank God.

Thank God for this and Thank God for that.

I know this is humor.  It was on the sidewalk in Soho, New York City.  Lots of clever stuff over there. It did make me do a double take and then laugh, and then take a picture.

I am not an Atheist. I don’t know what the hell I am, but I know I’m not an Atheist.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Thought then Action

“That stuff doesn’t work; that positive thinking nonsense. The world is an awful place and I never get nothing.”

My daughter said this to me during a conversation. She was waiting to hear about a job. I told her to keep a positive outlook because she was starting some negative talk. The statement she made came out with a lot of anger attached to it. My daughter is 17, I think back to when I was 17 and how awful I thought the world was then.

With all her negative talk, she still got the job.

Her mindset is not unusual. I’ve come across many people who feel this way. Life is miserable, they get nothing they want, and everyone has more than them.

This not only plagues my daughter, but my son and mother as well. Makes you wonder how I escaped it. Well, I think my disposition comes from my father. He is no longer alive, but his sister is. She has a positive outlook and I am sure that is where this strand of my DNA comes from.

People think Positive Thinking is a magic pill.

If I think positive I will get the car/money/job/lover. I don’t need to do anything but sit here and think positive happy thoughts.

Well no wonder nothing has come your way. You need t have inspired action.

Inspired Action

I decided to go back to school after a 17 year absence. When I was in school before, my GPA was nothing to brag about. It was actually so low; I’m embarrassed to tell you. However, when I started this time around, I vowed to myself that I would graduate with a 4.0 and graduate Summa Cum Laude.

I kept that mind set each semester. I actually didn’t find the work difficult. I didn’t graduate with a 4.0. I graduated with a 4.045 and yes, I received my degree with the Summa Cum Laude seal on it.

 

This is an example of positive thin

 

king coupled with inspired action. I knew that if I wanted the good GPA, sitting there not doing anything (class work, homework etc.) would not get me it. I had the idea, but I had to take action.

POSNEG

Negative Talk

I don’t know which is worse; not taking inspired action, or having negative talk.

My mother once had a job she really hated. She’s actually had a few. Three jobs in particular made her very unhappy. One year on Christmas day, she sat at the dining room table with her head down, obviously so depressed. She hated her present job so much, she couldn’t be happy even on a happy day. She was fired from all of these jobs.

 

Of course, to her, this had nothing to do with her, they were all scoundrels and hated her from day one.

I wonder.

They wouldn’t have hired her if they hated her. I think they thought they were getting one person, and later down the line, they realized they got another.

My mother was never a pleasant person. At first, she could fake a happy demeanor, but eventually her misery would seep out of her pores and into the either bringing everyone around her into a place they didn’t want to be, yours truly included.

Negative thinking, negative talk and just her general negative energy bring misery to her.

 

You do get what you think about most. I’m not immune to this.

I was dating a guy and at first it was pretty nice, then I started to notice things I didn’t like. Eventually the happy thoughts grew more and more toward me wanting to run the other way.

My thoughts caused him to dump me…small blessings.

Even though, for me, this was a desired outcome, it still was something I was thinking about a lot.

I think about winning the Lottery all the time, but I’ll be dog gone if it didn’t happen yet.

It is obvious I have an unconscious problem with money. But hey, the fact that I’m winning $2 and $4 means that my thoughts are improving.

If I win the Lottery great, if not, that’s OK too. Why?

Because I’m already content with the things that I have.

…well I wouldn’t mind Chris Hemesworth.

 

 

 

 

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Gayatri on the Brain

Do You Chant?

One day a very pretentious person asked me if I chant. Of course I said yes, I am Catholic after all.

BibleWhen a Catholic hears the word “Chant” the first thing that comes to mind is something like:

Agnus Dei qui tollis peccata mundi, Miserere nobis.                                                                                  (Lamb of God you take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us).

Noting like a Gregorian chant to get the juices flowing.

But that is not what he meant. I could hear is pretention across the cellular waves.

Then he said, “No I mean mantras.”
I wanted to reply, “If that is what you meant, why didn’t you say it?” But I didn’t, I just said, “oh, no.”

I had forgotten the conversation and I put it out of my mind completely when we went our separate ways. The word came up again when I was looking at information regarding Ayurvedic practices. Without the affectation behind it, it sounded interesting.

  • I studied the seed sounds: Om, Kleem, Shreem…..
  • I studied the deities and why we chant to each particular one.
  • I learned the difference between Namaha and Swaha.
  • I learned why we need to do it at least 108 times in one sitting.
  • I learned what obtaining siddhi means.

So of course I gave it a go, because, well, that is what I do. I had my Mala beads and I got comfortable. The first one I chanted in earnest was Kleem. It is said that chanting Kleem draws to one universal abundance. I wasn’t after any one form of abundance, just in general…material or otherwise

I would start Kleem-ing, but then something strange happened. My mind wanted to keep chanting the Gayatri Mantra (short form). Why? I don’t know.

 

Gayatri

I took the time to learn this Mantra even before I wanted to learn more about Mantra’s. I found a YouTube video with it, and thought it sounded transcending. I would play it and fall asleep to it.

I later learned that the Gayatri is one of the oldest and most powerful of the mantras. This explains my affinity for it even though I had no idea what they were saying.

Gayatri mantra (short form)

Aum
Bhuh Bhuvah Sva
Tat Savitur Varenyam
Bhargo Devasya Dheemahi
Dhiyo Yo nah Prachodayat

In simplified terms it means: “O Divine mother, our hearts are filled with darkness. Please make this darkness distant from us and promote illumination within us.”

It can be slightly different depending on the translation.

Gayatri_Mantra

So here I am Kleem-ing, with as much concentration as I can muster, and then the melody of Gayatri slips in messing me up. Why did it do that? I think there was a strong need for me to dispel whatever darkness was within/around me.

Doing the Kleem mantra 108 times isn’t too tough. It takes about 10-20 minutes depending on the length of the Kleem. There is: Kleem, Kleem, Kleem and then there is Kleeeeeeeeemmmmmmm, Kleeeeeeeeemmmmmmm, Kleeeeeeeeemmmmmmm. I chose the latter; I enjoyed the vibration in my third eye.

However, the Gayatri can take 1 hour. I never was able to recite the Gayatri 108 times in one sitting. Sometimes during the day, I recite it to myself several times, but not for a reason, it just comforts me. For me, that is of great benefit.

 

Am I Doing This Right?

I am convinced I wasn’t doing it right, or I didn’t do it enough, or I wasn’t faithful, devout, holy, Hindu enough, because no amazing outward manifestations occurred.

I wasn’t looking for a quick fix. I’ve learned about too many practices to expect miracles, but I did expect to see something. The only Mantra that ever did anything for me was the Gayatri, it brought me peace.

There are several YouTube videos of people who claim they did this mantra or that and got loads of abundance in money, property, love, luck.

This isn’t to say that NOTHING came my way. I got a lot of discounts on my current monthly bills such as Mobile phone and Cable. I also received a partial scholarship, so things are coming my way.

I just find it interesting that some people allegedly got everything they ever wanted, money falling from the tree in their back yard, finding oil under their petunias…OK I’m exaggerating.

I still try to go a round of 108, but I’m not consistent. I don’t know if I should do Kleem or Shreem Brzee. Or just continue with the Gayatri that seems to not want to leave me for some reason.

We will see…stay tuned.

 

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She’s Already Here

28394622442_6d457a54e2_oThe Lord is coming. Be ready get baptized by immersion. Keep God’s law including the 7th day sab. God Bless.

I squatted down to pee in a bathroom stall in Newark Penn Station.  I look up, and see this. I read it and thought, “So holy and proper but vandalizing a bathroom stall.”

Then I saw the other message. “She’s Already Here.” I smiled for two reasons.

  1. The second message states the Lord/God is a SHE
  2. The second message states that God is already here

Not sure if the person who wrote this is Wiccan or in the process of a spiritual awakening, but the person possesses the right thought process.

I also cannot tell you the last time I saw writing in a bathroom stall.  I only see that stuff now in movies.  This would never fly in New York Penn Station.

 

 

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Is Real Peace Elusive?

 

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Nonattachment

Is real peace elusive? I can’t speak for everyone, but for me I find it is due to attachments.

You might have heard the Buddhist practice of detachment (Letting Go), but actually the practice is known as nonattachment. The word detachment means that we were once attached to something, whereas nonattachment means we don’t get attached in the first place.

So how does one get to the state of nonattachment? By realizing that we are not separate from anyone or anything.

 

I Ain’t No Buddhist

I am far from qualified to teach you about nonattachment; I can only tell you my experiences, failures and successes with the practice.

There was a time when I was attached to people. Not in a creepy dependent way, just the idea of them in my life kept me attached to them. When they left, I felt a void.

Recently, within the past six months, I have grown more proficient at being nonattached (to others).

If a relationship doesn’t work, I don’t beat myself up or think about how my life will forever be changed. I don’t really think on it at all. OK maybe a tad, but not to the extreme that my entire brain is filled with thoughts of this person. I am talking about romantic as well as platonic relationships.

I worked at this. I didn’t wake up one day and say, “OK, from this day on I will be attached to nothing.”

 

My Future as a Nonattachmentest

Will this always be? I can honestly say I can’t say that for certain. I imagine my daughter leaving home for good and I want to crumble into a pile of sawdust. I am attached to her, and it is difficult to detach, therefore, nonattachment is unlikely.

However, if I can maintain this path for most people and things, I will be better off than I was.

I tell my friends who ask me why it is so hard for them to find peace (and happiness) to give this principle a try. However, it is hard for them to imagine not being attached to someone or something.

It is hard for me to imagine being nonattached to my stuff too. It seems easier to approach a person with the idea of non attachment than it is to stuff, how sick is that?

I need more time and more practice, but I hope to get there before I die.

Of course once I die…none of it will matter.

 

 Daily Prompt: Elusive
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